So Long October!

Part of me can’t believe we are already heading into November and the holiday season, and the other part of me is thrilled beyond belief to be in November and the true start of our cooler weather around here! (Although it’s still pushing the upper 80s here which I’m not loving). I think November is the absolute perfect month here in Florida, and I am overjoyed that it’s finally here, along with so many things I am looking forward to. But before we move into a new month I wanted to pause and take a quick peek back at the past few weeks.

The weekend between the Florida hurricanes we actually packed up and headed over to Tallahassee for a night to watch Clemson play at Florida State. I hadn’t ever been over to our state capitol before, and loved the chance to see another school’s game day traditions, especially at a school where so many of my dear friends are alum. Clemson trounced the Seminoles and the FSU ladies sitting around us were delighted by and in awe of Aidan’s football knowledge as he yelled for safeties, pick-6’s, and pass interference calls. Asher loved the Florida State horse that rides onto the field, the marching band, the popcorn and my pretzel (which he mostly ate) and then read through the actual game asking if it was close to being over yet. We can’t all be football fans! The game didn’t start until 7 pm so it was a very late night, but it is so fun being in a phase of life where we can all manage that okay—the kids were champs, even with a mile walk back to the car at 10 pm.

The thing I noticed that really surprised me at this game, was how many fewer photos I ended up taking, and I know without a doubt it was because I knew I wouldn’t be documenting this weekend on social media. I get that this sounds ridiculous, but I know it’s absolutely true. I wasn’t posting to Instagram stories in real time and I knew I wouldn’t be writing a post about how fun it was to be at Florida State, so while I snapped some photos throughout the night my phone remained in my purse FAR more than it would have if I’d been concerned with documenting the whole thing online. It was as if I knew this event wasn’t going to have an “audience” and getting the perfect shot to go with whatever caption was scrolling through my head no longer mattered. I’ve known subconsciously I’ve done this for a long time, take photos of events or trips with the awareness in the back of my mind of “how would I share this? What would I write? What shot will look the best or what will others think?” I feel icky even admitting that here. But I suspect this isn’t just something I have done or experienced. Not being “allowed” to share something changed how I captured it, and I realized I was very content to just watch the event unfold, not document the whole thing. I’m wondering how this will play out over the holidays and any other upcoming trips or events this next year? Will I notice a consistent difference in the number of photos I take when I know I won’t be sharing the experience online? Just something I’m observing and noticing as I continue this off-line journey.

With the arrival of October I also decided to take part in what I know many others have done over the years and participate in “Crocktober”—a month-long cooking challenge using solely the crock pot. There were a few days I made something in the oven throughout the month, but I actually cooked about 90% of our dinners this month in our slow cooker and I have to say I made some really delicious recipes I’d never tried before! I am planning on carrying this challenge well into November because I still have a bunch of recipes I haven’t tried yet (it’s still not really cool enough for me to want to make many soups and soups are amazing in the slow cooker so hopefully in November I’ll do more of those). The biggest winners for our whole family this month were Broccoli Beef (this one was so good I’ve made it twice and Asher literally licks the sauce off the plate), a taco filling with ground beef and other seasonings that simmers all day with tomato sauce, French Dip sandwiches, General Tsos chicken, and shredded beef brisket sandwiches. I’ve done many other slow cooker meals we enjoyed but these were the ones that got 4 out of 4 thumbs up!

We enjoyed our Halloween, trick or treating with neighbors—Aidan was Peely the Banana from Fortnight and Asher was an angler fish. No idea why, that was just some random idea he had and Amazon happened to sell an actual angler fish costume, so that’s what we bought.

Aidan has been working all year on his basketball skills, doing several camps over the summer and a twice a week skills clinic at a local basketball academy trying to get ready to try out for the varsity boys team at his school (made up of 7th and 8th graders). Tryouts were last week and 35 kids showed up for 13 spots, After two days of hard work he was absolutely thrilled to see his name on that list of 13 kids, and apparently this season goes from November through March so we are in for an awful lot of basketball this winter but it is so good for him and he loves it so much.

As I’m writing this, the election was two days ago and I find myself still unsure of what to say. I had a shirt picked out for the inauguration of our first female president, a playlist made called Broken Glass Ceilings, plans with friends to pull our kids out of school and throw a party to let them witness history. And well….none of that’s very useful right now I guess. This isn’t a post about politics, except if you’re feeling the same grief I am, you’re not alone. One of my favorite voices, John Delony says that “grief is the gap between what we wish were true and what is actually true” and that resonates so so deeply with me in a few parts of my life actually. It’s okay to feel joy if you’re thrilled with the election results and it’s okay to feel grief if you’re not. My hope though is that we can give one another the grace and space to feel our feelings. If you know someone who is a little sad right now, maybe just tell them you’re sorry they are hurting even if you don’t share those same feelings. We still love one another and acknowledging one another’s hurt is how we show care, rather than gloating about why your candidate won. And if you are a follower of Jesus, my hope is that we can all remember that this world isn’t our home, this country isn’t our kingdom. I’ve been teaching through the whole New Testament this fall and this idea comes up almost every week; our political parties aren’t our saviors, our treasure doesn’t lie in the stock market, and our hope doesn’t rely on the economy. Is it hard to keep this perspective? One thousand percent. But I’m trying.

I do want to say though, that being off social media for a solid 6 weeks now, during the end of this election season has been so so helpful. I didn’t spend election night scrolling, I spent it texting real friends who I have deep relationships with, and my sister who were all experiencing the same feelings I was. It was far far more helpful to interact with real people I know in my every day life rather than sit in the unending algorithm driven content Meta wanted to feed me. I felt my grief and processed it with real friends, and in the last two days I haven’t been mired in the cacophony of voices online offering all the commentary, fueling the big feelings. I’ve talked to my friends and sister and listened to my beloved Pantsuit Politics podcast as they processed the outcome and then have tried to turn off the noise. I know if social media were available to me right now I’d have spent hours scrolling through all the opinions, which I’m sure wouldn’t have been very helpful. I absolutely missed seeing Halloween pictures of my friend’s kids all dressed up, but I haven’t missed the noise and big feelings I’m sure are living online right now. Social media is absolutely a both/and, some fun and valuable aspects as well as some aspects that aren’t as helpful, and overall I’ll say that I’ve missed it FAR less than I thought I would and signing out hasn’t been nearly as hard as I was suspecting it would be. I still have some other goals for this year, and some other things I want to explore as part of this challenge of signing offline, which I’ll share more about later, but for now, I hope this little note finds you safe and well, and may you know that you are so so loved.