January Reflections
Hi friends! I know, the fall got away from me with my weekly posts. I love writing them. And also, trying to keep up with teaching a weekly class that requires a lot of reading, plus making my 100 books in 2023 reading goal made it really difficult to add in regular writing as well. But we’ve made it through the holiday season, my New Testament class is on hiatus until the fall (our first break in over 2 years of teaching, and I have to be honest, it’s kind of nice for a bit!), and I feel like I have a bit more breathing room. Plus, I’m in no way trying to hit 100 books this year, which frees up a LOT of time! (I am trying to knit 4 5x6’ blankets by Christmas…but that’s another story…)
One of the things I spent a lot of time reflecting on over our holiday break is how and what I want to share on social media going forward. There are a variety of reasons for this, that I’ll expand more on in a minute, but one of the things I want to try and do is share less throughout the month and more in a bigger monthly recap like this one. More “newsletter” style instead of multiple posts a month. I’ll explain why in this post if you keep reading, but as we dive in, here in January’s post you’ll find:
Thoughts on social media, my kids getting older, and what is mine to share
The books I read this month
My most favorite purchase I’ve made for myself in ages
A couple of movies I watched that I loved (I know! I actually watched movies! That’s so unheard of for me! But is a goal I have going into this year…)
A weekend trip we took this month
A recipe that we are loving these days
Lets dive in!
I got my first smart phone in January of 2013. Aidan was 2 weeks away from turning 1 year old when I entered the world of Instagram. I remember thinking how cool it was to make photos look so artsy and sepia toned with borders and faded edges. The fact that I opened an instagram account when my kiddo was about to turn 1 means his entire life is documented there and shared with people near and far who may or may not have ever met him in person. And it is so fun! I loved sharing the adorable toddler photos, the first day of school photos, the milestones, and even some of the challenging moments. I’m super relational by nature and I value connection with the people who have made up my life over the years.
What I am realizing as my kids are getting older is something that seems obvious, but maybe hasn’t been. That realization is that my instagram account is mine. I know that’s an obvious statement. But it’s mine, where I can share what’s happening in my life. And what’s been happening in my life is raising these boys, so that’s what I’ve shared. But here’s the thing, my instagram account isn’t theirs. By choosing to share many many aspects of their lives with people, I’m starting to wrestle with if I’ve crossed a line there. They didn’t consent to stories & experiences of their childhoods being shared with more people than they know. It’s this weird line of parenting, what I am doing with my days and life is….well…parenting. So that’s what I’ve shared. Yet in sharing that I’m actually sharing moments of their lives that I’m not sure I would be thrilled if my own mom had shared about me while I was growing up. Not because the stories are overly embarrassing, but simply the act of putting my own kid’s lives on display feels like I might have invaded their own autonomy and privacy a bit.
This past summer I posted a photo of Aidan mowing the lawn with a caption that said something about him having a new job or him being old enough to do some legitimate work around the house now. I didn’t think anything of it, it was one more milestone to share. The next day at church someone who he didn’t know (he couldn’t come up with their name so this isn’t a person we interact with much, but he is a person who follows me on social media) came up to him and said “hey I hear you have a new job!” Poor Aidan was so incredibly confused. He didn’t recognize this man, he didn’t know what new job this guy was talking about because he didn’t know I’d posted that photo, and later he said “that was so weird mom! Who was he and how did he know I mowed the lawns now??” I can’t stop thinking about that moment. He wasn’t mad at me, but it was the first time someone who truly doesn’t know my kid interacted with him as if they have a relationship because of what he’s seen on my social media feed. That’s not fair to do to my kids.
I do think there is so much value in sharing our parenting journeys with one another. I’ve found help, resources, and support from folks who have experienced similar challenges with their kids. So it doesn’t mean I’ll forever stop sharing about my kiddos, but I do know that I’m feeling incredibly convicted and challenged to try and do so maybe a bit differently going forward. It’s a work in progress. No other generation of parents have had to wrestle with this in the same way. But I’d love to hear from some of you, how have you navigated this in your own families and what boundaries do you have for yourself about what you do/don’t share about your kids? I think it’s an important conversation, so I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Man I read SO much less in January than in any month last year, and I’m having a hard time not feeling weird about that. I think it’s actually healthier, I’m doing other things with my time that feel a bit more well-rounded, but it still feels strange! This month I read:
Still Life by Louise Penny (the first book in the Inspector Gamache series). This was a re-read for me. There are 18 books in this series and I read them all 2 years ago. I loved this series so so much. Like I haven’t loved a series like this since my love affair with the Baby Sitters Club in 8th grade. (These are significantly better written though!). The Currently Reading podcast is doing a deep dive into each of the books, just doing one every couple months (the first 4 books are available) so I decided to re-read these books this year along with their podcast. Returning to the village of Three Pines was like coming home when I opened the pages of this first novel.
The Younger Wife by Sally Hepworth—this was my second Sally Hepworth book (I read The Mother in Law years ago and loved it) and really enjoyed this one too. Every book of hers seems to center around family dynamics where something is going on under the surface but you aren’t sure what people are hiding. It’s a murder mystery but you don’t quite understand all the dynamics until the end. Neither of these were creepy, gory, scary or too intense which made them perfect for me.
Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt—one of the reading challenges I’m doing this year is an “In Case You Missed It” challenge sponsored by The Book Girl’s Guide page. Starting in January you choose one book published in each consecutive year that you might have missed. So in Jan. we chose a novel published in 2012 that we missed reading the year it came out. In Feb. we’ll choose a book published in 2013 and so on. This book came out in 2012 and while I liked it, I didn’t love it. Its the story of a 14 year old girl grappling with the death of her beloved uncle to AIDS in the mid 80s New York. It was well written and had interesting characters but was a little slow.
A Fatal Grace by Louise Penny—the second in the Inspector Gamache series. I love all the books but the first 3 to me are her weakest, by book 4 she really hits her stride in terms of character development and plot pacing.
Ya’ll I never watch movies. I wish I watched more movies sometimes, but I’m tired, I go to bed early, and well, I just don’t ever seem to sit and get engrossed in a 2 hour thing that isn’t a football game. But I’m working on watching more films this year and over Christmas I watched a few I loved. I finally saw the Barbie movie and thought it was so fun, I watched it on the plane to Minnesota and then we ended up watching it as a big family while there because my niece is obsessed with it. Even my kids found it entertaining. On my flight home I watched Lin Manuel Miranda’s film In the Heights and MAN! I LOVED it! I didn’t really know anything about it but the entire thing was so so good and I loved the music. If you liked Hamilton and how Miranda writes lyrics you will love this. We showed our kids randomly one night Ready Player One, which seems like an odd choice and I’m not quite sure how we ended up with that one but they both loved it. We fast forwarded one scary scene but otherwise they loved the video game concept, the trivia clues to try and solve and the adventure of it all. Asher even watched it again the next day. And over the holidays the 4 of us went to see Wonka in the theaters and all four of us loved it so so much. We thought it was whimsical, super sweet, great music, and beautifully designed—we’re glad we saw it on the big screen and would recommend it as a wonderful family film. Look at me everyone, I’m watching movies!
For Christmas a year ago we got both sets of parents digital picture frames. We went with the Skylight frame and I had them shipped to me so before I wrapped them I pre-loaded them with a ton of family photos for each side of the family respectively. I found them to be so easy to use, you just set up a unique email address for each frame and then email photos to that address. My folks have had theirs on their kitchen counter for a year now and every time I visit I think “Man I want one of these!” So I finally bought myself one earlier this month. They hold 8,000 photos so it would take years to fill it, but I’ve been adding photos to it, both from current happenings and years and years past (I have photos of my grandparents wedding that were digital that I added….). I knew I’d enjoy it. I did not know that this dang photo frame sitting by my kitchen sink where I spent an inordinate amount of time each day would bring me wave after wave of gratitude every single day. Multiple times a day. It’s a slide show of my life, and as the slide show rolls I find myself just standing in awe of the goodness of God. I literally think “Man what a beautiful life!” so many times a day. From family trips, to back to school pictures, to baptismal photos to my grandparents wedding photos, I am just in awe seeing my life scroll past day after day. I have photos of all my friends from so many parts of life, and I’m filled with gratitude for the relationships that have made me who I am today. It is truly the best thing I have bought myself in ages.
The boy’s Christmas gifts this year from Chuck and I were tickets to two places we knew they wanted to see. For Aidan we got him tickets to an Orlando Magic basketball game and for Asher we got him tickets for a day at Epcot, the one Disney park we hadn’t ever been to. So one weekend this month we drove down to Orlando after school on a Friday for a Friday evening NBA game which Aidan LOVED and then stayed over night and the next day Asher and I went to Epcot (all 4 of us were going to go but Aidan didn’t want to miss his Saturday basketball game so Chuck brought him home instead). We had a wonderful weekend, and I have to say going to a theme park with just one kid and letting them be in the driver’s seat so to speak about what they want to see and do and eat was SO fun. He kept saying “oh thank you for bringing me here! I just love this day!” As they’re getting older I’m realizing how much fun they are to go and DO things with, so we are leaning hard into trips, experiences and adventures together these days.
It’s been chilly here off and on this past month so we have definitely embraced a couple of cozy recipes for dinner. A new one we discovered this month is this Chicken Enchilada Soup from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe. Mel never ever leads me wrong. Some of her recipes are truly my favorite recipes ever, so when I saw this one it looked so good and man it sure was. You can make this on the stovetop, in the instant pot or in the crock pot. It has a ton of veggies in it, but they end up pureed with an immersion blender (one of my most used kitchen appliances!) so you would never know. It’s gluten free and the only change I made was I left out the butternut squash because that’s not my family’s favorite flavor and I wasn’t sure how much it would come through. Even my pickiest ate a small bowl of this (topped with cheese, sour cream and crushed tortilla chips of course!) So if it’s still chilly where you are definitely give this one a try!
Alright friends, I think that’s all I have this month. I hope January has found you warm and healthy, enjoying cozy evenings, some good movies, and the NFL playoffs. We had to find an alternate team to cheer for and man I was rooting for the Lions to go all the way. They got SO close and it will be fun to see how they come back in the fall. If they would like to send us some of their offensive line we’d be happy to take them! We’ll see you back here at the end of February for another update on our joyfully chaotic life here in Florida.
