The Gift of Being Included
It was the fall of 2005 and I had just moved from Seattle, where I’d lived the past 6 years, to Pasadena, CA where I began my Masters of Divinity journey at Fuller Seminary. I’d met a few folks through orientation activities and the apartment complex I’d moved into when I started hearing about a group of Presbyterian students who gathered together for weekly worship in chapel and other social activities. The Office of Presbyterian Ministries helped students navigate the lengthy and sometimes complicated ordination process the denomination required and since this was the denomination I was a part of I decided to check it out. One of the first people I met was a girl my age who was in charge of the social events. We hit it off instantly but in the back of my mind I had that nagging thought of “is she just being nice to me because she’s on the leadership team? She seems so popular, everyone knows her, does she really want to be my friend?” When you’re new in a place and working on making new friends I think those are voices we all hear, and it takes awhile to silence them.
A couple weeks into school Sophie told me that one of her goals as social coordinator of the Presby group was to create a strong community and network of female students who were pursuing ordination. She had this vision of hosting dinners for these ladies and having times of worship, prayer and discussion together, and did I want to help with the first gathering? It was going to be held at her apartment and she had the idea to make homemade pizzas for everyone, including the dough from scratch. I was honored to help and figured if she wanted me to come hang out with her for all the hours it was going to take to make pizza for everyone she must not have just been pretending when she was so welcoming.
The day of the event I remember being at her house early and we spent a long time mixing, kneading and letting the dough rest. It was a new experience for me, making dough from scratch, but it was a blast. We destroyed her kitchen, had cheese everywhere and I remember it took so much longer for that many pizzas to rotate through her oven than we’d originally planned but we laughed all day long. I know the event was meaningful, I know we talked about leading with love and finding our identity in Christ. I know we played the song Child of Mine by Mark Schulz and we talked about what it means to be free in Christ. But more than any of those things I remember so clearly the feeling of being included and working together for a purpose. By inviting me to cook with her Sophie gave me a spot in the community, she welcomed me into leadership and I’d spend the next several years being part of the leadership team of the Presbyterian community on campus.
I’ve had other experiences of forming strong friendships that began by cooking together for some event or retreat or service project. Going out to coffee with a new friend is great, but I’ve discovered over the years that sometimes working side by side, chopping, mixing, baking, and dealing with the inevitable snafu that often comes with group cooking bonds and cements friendships more than sitting across a table from one another. For college students, graduate students or those moving into their first apartments in new cities, consider having a dinner party but instead of asking guests to show up at eating time think about inviting one or two to join you for the preparation. Crank up some music, pour a glass of wine or fun drink and hand them a cutting board. The menu doesn’t have to be fancy, there wasn’t anything pretty about our homemade pizzas—they didn’t even turn out round, more of a rectangular oval shape. But that event served to cement a friendship that would last years. I know I am fully guilty of having families over for dinner and wanting everything to be done and set up and perfectly before they arrive. But something happens when two or three people work together to set out a meal. The focus is taken off the perfection or presentation and is placed on camaraderie, on creating a shared experience. All these years later I know for a fact being part of the messy kitchen was so much more fun than simply arriving at the start time for the pizza dinner. Who can you invite to join you in cooking a meal this month? It’s probably not something that’s done enough in our world, but I promise you it is so much more fun.
So I haven’t made homemade pizza much. When I do make it I usually buy the crust or dough ready to roll out and this is absolutely an acceptable option if you want to host a homemade pizza party. Something about using yeast and letting dough rise and then knowing when it’s done completely intimidates me (it’s my goal this year to learn how to make bread though so perhaps I’ll master this irrational kitchen fear one of these days!). I also don’t own a kitchen aid mixer and I think I always believed you needed one to make homemade dough. My sister however makes homemade pizza dough with her family (and she doesn’t have a fancy mixer!) and so I’m sharing the recipe she uses. It doesn’t look that hard, maybe one of these days I’ll try it!
1 package of yeast
1 1/4 cup of warm water
1/4 cup of Vegetable Oil
1 teaspoon of salt or garlic salt (I haven't tried garlic salt but I bet it would be really good)
1/2 teaspoon pepper
4 cups of flour (you can substitute 1 cup of whole wheat flour if you want.)
In a large bowl sprinkle the yeast over 1/4 cup of warm water. Stir to dissolve. Add the remaining water & the oil.
Beat in 1.5 cups of flour until it is smooth (if you are using the whole wheat flour, mix it in here.)
Add the salt, pepper, and the flour (in 1/2 cup increments) until a stiff dough is formed.
Knead it until it is smooth and elastic on a floured board (or the counter if you want to make a mess!)
Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl turning so that the top of the dough gets oiled too.
Cover bowl w/ a towel and let it rise in a warm place until it is doubled in size. Punch it down and divide the dough in 1/2.
Roll it out on a lightly oiled pan leaving a 1/2 inch high crust around the edge.
Preheat the oven to 400. Cover each crust w/ tomato sauce & toppings. Bake for 20-25 minutes until the crust & cheese are golden brown.
