Is anyone else amazed we are already a quarter of the way through the year?? Somehow the rhythm of the weeks fly by and I’m constantly finding myself thinking “we’re already at Thursday again, it’s almost another weekend.” My youngest isn’t loving this school year as much because of one of his teachers (thank goodness his other teacher was literally the teacher of the year last year and is incredible) but he’s thrilled we’re in that homestretch before summer break. I’m not sure I’m fully ready for that but like it or not, spring is flying by!

Today’s post is a monthly newsletter style with several things that have been rolling around in my mind through March. I’m sharing:

Thoughts on being at the halfway point of my social media year long fast
The way having a puppy has changed me in ways I never expected or knew I needed
Our spring break recap
Our family’s Lenten practice this year
All the books I read in the month of March with a quick review of each

Grab yourself a cup of coffee and dive in!

Six Months Without Social Media

Much like I find myself amazed that we’re already 1/4 of the way into 2025, I am finding myself stunned that it’s been six months since I’ve had any social media access (with the exception of a family Facebook account I have that only follows the church, the school, and karate pages for information). When I let Aidan change my passwords back in September I thought it was going to be an excruciating experiment that I really didn’t want to do but knew I was supposed to do. That has not been the case at all. I’ve shared in a few other posts that I definitely didn’t miss the deluge of political vitriol around November, I didn’t miss the online pressure to clean everything! Organize everything! Start the new year with a blank slate! that permeates Instagram around the holidays. And one thing that’s surprised me is how much I’ve enjoyed just living life, not worried about how I’m going to share it or caption something. There have been very very few times I’ve felt like I’ve missed out on something online.

I’ve learned there is always something to scroll on your phone if you want to scroll. News sites, phone games, book tracking sites, sports apps—the phone itself is designed to keep our attention on it, so it isn’t just Instagram and Facebook that can be a problem. I’ve had weeks where for whatever reason I find myself reaching to scroll more often but the reality is the news sites aren’t that much fun to scroll through these days and that’s pretty much all I have on my phone. If we want to be distracted, we will be—with or without Instagram!

One of the things I have found myself trying to think about is the idea of being present. If we are constantly pulling ourselves out of the current moment by picking up our screens every time we are in line somewhere or waiting on something we will be constantly distracted, and research has shown in numerous studies the more we short circuit our focus the less our brains will be able to focus. This is the part of the challenge that has been so so difficult. Not giving up social media, but intentionally trying to avoid picking up my phone when I truly don’t need to. Waiting in line, while hanging around on the couches with my kids in the afternoon or evening, while standing in the backyard waiting for my puppy to be done playing out there. I’m tempted a thousand times a day to pick up this little pocket computer and some days, I am appalled at how many pick ups it tells me I had. Other days I find I’m able to stand still, just stand in line and let myself be bored, pick up a book or just stare at the leaves fluttering in the wind. I’m trying so hard to rebuild some of my ability to focus, to stay present, grounded and not distracted, and I actually think this part is by far harder than just letting my kids change my app’s passwords.

One of the books I read this month was Carlos Whittaker’s Reconnected. It wasn’t the best written book, I’ll just be honest. But his entire premise was exactly this—it’s not just about turning off our phones, it’s about reconnecting with life on the other side of the phone. It’s about rebuilding the skill of being able to focus, be present, be bored without numbing ourselves. One of the things he mentioned in his book that I immediately implemented was keeping his phone in permanent Do Not Disturb mode. I’ve pretty much had my phone in DND mode for a month now and I will tell you, it’s been amazing. I have a list of favorite contacts set up so if my kid’s school calls, or my husband, son, parents or sister text or call I’ll get the notification (the vibration on my apple watch), but if anyone else texts or calls I won’t get that until I open my phone to see the little red number on the screen. I don’t get notifications from news apps, Voxer, really anything, and what it has done is allowed me to stay present just a little longer. I had breakfast with a friend a few weeks ago on a Friday morning. My phone was in DND mode and the entire time we were together I wasn’t taken out of our conversation even once by glancing at my watch to see what a vibration was, because there was no vibration. I was fully present with her and with our conversation. When I got back to my car I picked up my phone and opened the home screen. I had 47 text messages. FORTY SEVEN. Apparently our PTA leadership team was planning an event via text that morning and it was quite the conversation! I quickly scrolled through, caught up, and replied about 45 minutes after everyone else, but that was fine, nothing was urgent or on fire that needed me to respond earlier. Ya’ll if I had allowed my watch to buzz with every one of those texts, my conversation with my friend Megan would have been unbelievably full of distraction. Every time we are momentarily taken out of the present we have to work to reengage. So if nothing else, try turning off notifications for apps, or try one day in DND mode and just see how it feels. I promise, we all pick up our phones enough that it’s truly never more than an hour that goes by that I don’t see someone’s message, and it’s been such a gift to myself to remove this extra layer of distraction throughout my day.

Orange Blossoms

I shared in an earlier post how we got ourselves a puppy back in January. I was the one who didn’t want a puppy. I knew who’d carry the majority of the puppy care duties, but oh my word I am so glad we got a puppy. Ollie has brought more love, joy, delight and fun to our home, an absolute breath of fresh air we did not even know we needed.

One of the biggest changes he’s brought is I’m now outside a lot. On evening walks, mornings in my backyard, even trips outside in the moonlight. This has coincided with my new desire to try and remain present in my here and now, to stop looking at a screen and start looking around. I now track the moon, I look for her every night and marvel at the changes I see. I can easily see Orion every night from my back patio and I’m curious to see if that will continue throughout the year or if there will come a month I won’t be able to see him any longer. We now know SO many more of our neighbors than ever before because Ollie wants to meet them and their dogs—we know Bella and Hank and Rookie and Toby and Emma, dogs who live around us who also seem to be out walking the blocks at 7 pm whose owners we’ve never met or stopped to talk to.

And this spring I discovered orange blossoms. We have a small orange tree in our backyard. I never went into my back yard. For anything except to grill during the summer. I certainly never watched the buds form on a tree. Until this year. Standing outside while Ollie explores and looks for all the best sticks and pieces of mulch he shouldn’t be eating I started noticing the little white buds forming on this little orange tree. When they started opening I noticed a sweet fragrance and it would stop me in my tracks—what was this incredible scent? It was the little white orange blossoms. How I’ve gone all these years without noticing their smell, I have no idea. But man it’s beautiful! I know I’m not going to cherish this time outside when the heat and humidity returns. But goodness I’m grateful for this spring of trying to put down my phone and just notice what’s around me. It’s been a lovely experience, and I’m pretty sure orange blossoms will be forever my favorite scent now.

Life Happenings in March

March brought us gorgeous weather here where things burst into bloom, the days were still cool enough to enjoy outdoors, and spring break gave us 9 full days in the middle of the month to relax a bit. We didn’t travel anywhere this year, just spent the time around home meeting up with friends for bowling, trampoline parks, playgrounds, and enjoying a cooking class together as a family. Chuck and Aidan went and spent one night in Orlando to see the LA Lakers take on the Orlando Magic (these tickets were Aidan’s Christmas gift, much to my Sacramento Kings loving heart’s dismay my child is a huge Lakers fan and walks around in his LeBron James jersey…I don’t quite know how this happened…).

A friend asked recently how I was doing and I said that I feel like we are in the most wonderful stage of parenting—I am loving these kids and how sweet, funny, mostly kind and smart they are. I told her that at 13 years old I think Aidan Kennedy is one of the most delightful human beings I know. Yes he does things that make me insane sometimes, but goodness he’s in an amazing stage—taller than me but still wants me to tuck him in with his stuffed animals. Hugs me every day and tells me thanks for all I do, helps with the preschool kiddos every Sunday and is so so good with little Ollie. He’s an absolute delight. Will this probably change at some point? I’m sure. But right now, they are both in such a sweet spot. Here are some photos from our past month! From left to right: Celebrating our great 3rd quarter report cards with a dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse (where we learned Asher likes his steak as rare as possible), our 16th anniversary dinner at Aqua Grill, our family cooking class—making pasta from scratch!, Asher became a 2nd degree blue belt in karate, hanging out at bedtime, the Lakers/Magic game, and a big boy and his little puppy.

Lent

This year for Lent we’ve been watching (or re-watching as the case may be) the TV show The Chosen, and it has been the most wonderful way to spend our evenings. The first four seasons are on Amazon Prime for anyone who hasn’t watched and season 5 is hitting the theaters first and then will be available to stream. My boys have actually seen it all the way through before, but they watched with Chuck on Monday nights when I was teaching my New Testament class this fall and so I missed most of it. Y’all, I was so skeptical. I don’t generally like Christian books/movies/tv shows. They’re usually cheesy, too preachy, not done well. This is on an entirely different level. It’s phenomenal. The portrayal of the disciples as these ordinary humans with tempers, family backgrounds, questions and confusion is rich and layered. The exploration of the relationship between the pharisees, the roman government and the culture of the first century is so well done. And the portrayal of Jesus. My goodness. Aidan said it best. He said after one episode, “man this Jesus is a Jesus I want to follow. He’s so kind, so strong, funny, and so human.” He’s funny, witty, so intensely focused on the people in front of him, it’s incredible to watch. He has these little one liners that just crack us up, reminding us that Jesus was a human who played games, danced at weddings, got tired. In one episode they’re all staying in a wealthy man’s home and he tells them “I have these bedrooms available for you. Except one of them is haunted by the ghost of my mother in law, I’m just sure of it.” And Jesus immediately pipes up “Oooh! I’ll take that one!” It’s these little interjections of humor and life that bring the story into the real world in such a beautiful way. If you haven’t seen it, I can’t recommend it highly enough, it’s not for little kids, I would say middle school and up (Asher’s just weird in that he likes stuff way past a 4th graders intellect), but gosh it’s been refreshing to look at the Gospel story from a fresh and so accessible perspective.

Reading Corner

I will say one of the benefits of trying to spend less time on my phone is I am reading quite a bit, in fact the number one used app on my phone right now is my Kindle app. I’m finding I’m reaching for my Kindle book when I do have time to fill, and if my physical kindle isn’t right nearby the app on my phone works great and syncs with where I was on my kindle. In March I read 9 books, a couple of which were fantastic, so maybe you’ll see your next read in this list! I’ve actually stopped using Good Reads to track my books, I haven’t ever liked the interface, it doesn’t help me interact with friends in an easy way, and while I was taking more of my life off line this year, I decided to track my books instead using the app Book Buddy which I have absolutely loved. Feel free to check it out if you need a great book tracking app! This month I read:

Here Be Dragons by Melanie Shankle—I flew through this book by Melanie, a podcaster I have listened to faithfully for ten years now. She cohosts The Big Book Cast with her friend Sophie Hudson, and this book is her story of growing up with an extremely toxic mother and then becoming a mother herself who walked with her high school daughter through the waters of mean girl culture. It’s a book about recognizing generational trauma, how to let Jesus into that, and how important it is to break these cycles for our own kids. Our small group is reading this now together and it’s provided some great conversations about our own childhoods and our own parenting struggles.

Lunar Love by Lauren Kung Jessen—I didn’t expect to enjoy this one as much as I did! Set in LA, a young business woman takes over her family’s Chinese matchmaking business that utilizes the Chinese Zodiac to help find matches. She gets word that a new dating app is about to launch that also utilizes the concepts of the Chinese zodiac to create matches and hijinxs ensue because the owner of the app is none other than a very attractive young man. This enemies to lovers romance was funny, sweet, and the grandmother character was unbelievably precious.

I’ve Got Questions by Erin Hicks Moon—I’ve loved Erin’s contribution to both the Popcast and Faith Adjacent podcasts for years now, and was thrilled when she finally published her first book. This was a beautiful walk through the wilderness of faith deconstruction and reconstruction that made me laugh and cry. She’s an incredible writer but writes in such a way that make her thoughts so accessible to anyone, this isn’t an academic dissertation, this is a personal and insightful companion to anyone asking tough questions about faith right now.

Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren—Oh man. This book was truly wonderful. Break your heart and put it back together again kind of wonderful. After a decade apart, childhood sweethearts and best friends reconnect and try to go back and figure out where it all went wrong. This is a love letter to books, words, and two quirky people who loved one another with their whole hearts until it all fell apart. One of my favorite romance novels I’ve read in a long time.

Back in the Burbs by Avery Flynn and Tracy Wolff—This was a spontaneous pick up I found while browsing some website or other and it was sweet, funny, and not at all high brow literature! Reeling from her cheating husband’s lies, grieving the death of her Great Aunt Maggie, and dealing with the reality that in her 30s life has not turned out the way she had hoped, Mallory finds out she’s inherited her Great Aunt’s house in the suburbs of New Jersey. Except she discovers Aunt Maggie was a hoarder, the house needs a lot of work, and there are about 47 HOA violations piled up in a kitchen drawer. Plus the grumpy neighbor across the street isn’t making Mallory’s life any easier. This enemies to lovers romance was laugh out loud hilarious and a little spicy, but was a delightful read.

The Little Wartime Library by Kate Thompson—a five star read for sure. This is historical fiction set in London during WWII when, after the Blitz, an entire underground city opened as a shelter in one of the unfinished subway stops. Thousands of people lived down there, going out to work and returning home to sleep in an underground world that had a medical center, a theater, a childcare center, and a library that became the heart of life in the underground war. This was a wonderful novel full of strong and brave female characters, the horrors of war, and the power of books to serve as a catalyst of resistance.

Dinner For Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz—I had seen this one floating around towards the end of 2024, but I picked it up when my friend Leslie texted to say she needed me to read this so we could talk about it. Bethany was one of the stars on the hit show One Tree Hill and at the same time she found herself in a very controlling religious cult in her personal life. This is her story of ten years of being manipulated and controlled by incredibly toxic people who spiritually manipulated her in the name of God and of finally breaking free. It was horrifying how easily manipulated an intelligent person can be, and has continued to solidify and reiterate for me that I don’t want to be part of a church or religious organization that functions independently. Accountability, strong doctrinal understanding, and solid faith statements are key to preventing a very charismatic personality from manipulating people into an unhealthy space. It happens all the time and it’s something my husband and I have been talking about as we discern which church God wants us to be plugged into for the next season of our lives.

Reconnected by Carlos Whitaker—I mentioned this earlier. It wasn’t well written but the information was interesting. Carlos spent 7 weeks not looking at a screen of any kind—TV, smart watch, phone, laptop, nothing. He spent 2 weeks with the monks in a monastery and 2 weeks with the Amish community and then 3 weeks at home with his family. They did a brain scan on him and some memory and cognitive testing both before and after the 7 weeks and it was remarkable the change—his brain physically changed with 7 weeks of no screens and his memory went from the 50th percentile to the 95th percentile of adult males in America just by giving his brain a break from electronic devices. He talks a lot about the discipline of being present, of noticing, of slowing down, of getting lost (without GPS this happened to him a lot!), of learning to live without the constant distraction. I’m glad I read it, it’s given me a lot to think about!

Don’t Forget to Write by Sara Goodman Confino—This was another 5 star read this month that I realized had been on my kindle for a long time! I finally read it and was delighted by Marilyn, a 20 year old jewish girl who gets caught making out with the rabbi’s son in front of the whole synagogue. This being the 1960s, this was a huge scandal and she’s sent to spend the summer with Great Aunt Ada who is a matchmaker in the Jewish community of New Jersey. Ada teaches Marilyn how to truly live, to dream, to think about being more than a wife and mom in life, and I adored this book. The characters, the setting, it was all wonderful.

Phew! If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I’ll be back at the beginning of May with another newsletter, and until then, may you have a wonderful Easter my friends!