Back to School Fun!
Clearly I am incapable of writing during the summer, I have realized not having any space or quiet in my life really really impacts my mental health and I have zero energy left for anything. I’ve had a harder time reading lately which is (strange as it sounds) my number one sign I’m either stressed, overwhelmed or mentally exhausted. Summer is a LOT. It’s a lot of noise, mess, activity, and lack of routine. I don’t function well in any of those scenarios! But our kids go back in one week and in the midst of the disaster that is my house this time of year (I’ve given up. Trying to pick up during the summer feels like trying to clean up during a tornado) I am thinking through all the back to school stuff, as I’m sure many of you are too! I had a sweet friend whose oldest child is about to start kindergarten this year message me the other day and ask for a couple of tips, what does she need to tell her kiddo before school starts, what do I wish I’d known or taught my kids? So I responded to her but thought I’d share those things here in case they are helpful for anyone else. Some of these things are specific to kindergartners and a couple of these things are just things that help us every year as we transition back to a school routine.
For new kindergartners, I think the absolute number one thing to tell them, over and over again, is that the grown ups at the school are there to help you. I know that sounds basic and maybe insignificant, but it was the number 1 piece of advice I got from my best friend who had taught kinder for a decade when Aidan started. She said she was always amazed at how many parents would email her the first week saying their child came home with a full lunch box, not having eaten during the day because they couldn’t get something open. They were too shy, overwhelmed, uncertain to ask anyone for help. Or the number of little ones who do have accidents during the day because they can’t get the buckle on their new uniform pants off in time and don’t want to ask for help. So before you send that sweet baby off to her first day of school, above all else help her know that any adult she sees in the school will help her, if she gets turned around and can’t find the bathroom or get back to class, she can ask someone. If she can’t get her lunchbox open or unwrap the granola bar she can ask anyone walking around in the cafeteria. If she does have an accident she can quietly tell her teacher who will help her get a change of clothes (school nurses keep extras on hand for this reason!). I told Aidan before his first day of kindergarten that everyone needs help sometimes, everyone needs to ask grown ups for things and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
The other two things for kindergarten that we did that were so helpful when that first day rolled around was to practice with our lunch box and practice with our uniforms (or other new shoes/clothes). For a few days before school started I packed their lunches into their lunch boxes exactly as I would send it to school and had them practice opening it without dumping everything, made sure they could open the ziplocks or tupperware of fruit or the thermos I had packed mac and cheese into. I made sure they knew they could always ask for help, but I also wanted them to have the confidence and familiarity with what their lunch would look like before that first day rolled around. I know many of us have cute bento box lunchboxes that are fantastic but making sure kids can get them open and know which was is face up before they accidentally dump everything out is key!
With uniforms (or any school outfit) I have my boys wear them for a day before the first day to get use to how they feel. Maybe you’ve bought a new first day outfit that your child loved in the store. Have her wear it for a day before the first day so you don’t end up with a melt down that morning because all of a sudden the pants feel itchy! Most of our kids pants now have that adjustable waistband which is fantastic, so giving them a chance to wear their outfit or new clothes for a day ahead of time lets you adjust everything to a comfortable fit. Break in the new shoes before school starts. We can’t control so much of what happens at school, and that’s so hard especially for that first kiddo who goes off to kindergarten, but we can set them up for success in small ways and then remind ourselves that they WILL be okay! Teachers who teach kindergarten know how to work with little kids. They know they get tired, need brain breaks, need to get up and wiggle, need help with basic things, they would not sign up for teaching kindergarten if they didn’t want to help with these things. So rest assured mama, they will take such good care of your little one!
The other two things we do before back to school every year, not just for kindergarten, is to make that first morning back, and really that first week back, as smooth as possible by doing whatever we can ahead of time. One of the things we do is get haircuts the week before school starts and then I bring them home, put them into their uniforms (a great time to make sure everything fits comfortably and is adjusted right!) and take the first day of school pictures. No one cares that they’re taken 5 days early. My kids always hold the same sign each year that requires me to erase it and fill it out for the next kid so instead of trying to rush through that at 7 am on Monday morning we do it the week before. Saves so much stress and hustle on a morning that will already feel stressful! I hate packing lunches the night before, but that first week I make myself and I’m always grateful I do!
I always try and remember that the first week is a LOT for them, even older kids. It’s a lot of new to adjust to, new teachers, expectations, classmates, schedule and routine and they will be tired. So I try to clear our schedule for afternoons that first week and give lots of downtime. I plan SUPER easy dinners I know they will all eat without meltdowns because we all know melt downs are more likely when they’re overly tired (we will probably do taco salad, spaghetti, grilled burgers and pizza that first week, meals they all love that take me less than 30 minutes of time to get on the table, which is key since you never know what kind of paperwork you’ll have to sort through or first week homework you’ll have!).
The other thing I try and remember is to sometimes take that first report of the day when they climb in the car with a grain of salt. By this I mean most of the time they climb in the car happy, and that’s awesome. But sometimes we’ve had days when one of them will climb in and immediately burst into tears because “they got yelled at” or “they got in trouble” or “a friend said something mean.” I’ll admit my initial reaction is to want to immediately email the teacher, solve the problem, get to the bottom of it. But 5 years in now (and some unfortunate emails I’ve had to walk back!) and I’ve learned to listen, empathize and say “man that sounds so hard, I’m so sorry that happened.” and then take them home, give them a big snack, let them watch 30 minutes of TV and then ask again for more information. All of a sudden, when their blood sugar is back up and their brains have had a break from school the story doesn’t fully change but more details come out. The initial story was a teacher “yelled at me” but all of a sudden more details emerge—oh the whole class was talking after being told three times to be quiet and she didn’t specifically yell at YOU but raised her voice to the whole class? Or your friend said something rude but later on, when we’ve calmed down and fed you you remember you actually told them they weren’t as good at basketball as you? It’s amazing how their emotions take over and they “forget” some of the key details of a situation, only initially sharing the “wrong” that was done to them.
It’s a lot of transition this time of year, especially coming off a summer where at least for us, routines have been extremely lazy around here. But our kids will be fine! They will adjust and adapt to what’s expected of them and you can pour yourself a celebration cup of coffee after drop off on that first day for having survived the summer and the first morning! From all you other seasoned mamas, how do you set your family up for back to school success?? What other tips do you have??
