Where You Are Isn't an Accident
Have you ever had a season in life that just didn't seem to match your dreams and plans of what you thought your life would look like? Maybe you always imagined you'd be settled down and married by this point in life. Maybe you had hopes of having a dream job yet find yourself seemingly stuck in lower level positions. Or you had that dream job and it actually wasn't everything you'd hope it would be and find yourself in a mid-life career change. Perhaps you always imagined you'd have a family of a certain size by now and for some reason having children or multiple children has been difficult. Maybe you always wanted to be home with your little ones full time but financial circumstances require working more hours outside the home than you desired. Or perhaps you are home full time and find yourself wondering if maybe you somehow aren't doing enough because you are "just" a stay at home parent. If we are honest I think we've all had seasons like this. If I am honest I would have to say I may be in one right now.
At our small group on Tuesday night we were sharing prayer requests and I asked for prayer that God would help me grow in contentment and gratitude for the opportunity I have to be home with my children when so many others would do anything to be in that position. I have dreams of being a writer and a speaker. A truth teller and encourager. I watch other moms publish books, go on speaking tours, develop a "platform" (whatever that is...) and I find myself asking "God, is there going to be room for me when my babies are older? Am I missing the boat because for this season I'm not "doing big things? Am I somehow being lazy or irresponsible with the gifts, dreams and passions You have given me because I can't seem to figure out how to be a good mom and write amazing things at the same time?" The feelings of inadequacy creep in. "Well she can do it, why can't I? Why can't I seem to accomplish all I see this person accomplishing on social media?" I shared with my small group that I understand this is such a brief season in the grand scheme of life. In less than a year my big kid will be in kindergarten--gone 6 hours a day. I've had countless parents tell me this preschool season, being home with multiple kids under 5, is the most physically demanding, sleep deprived stage of parenting. Obviously every stage is difficult and has unique challenges, but rumor has it once they go to school you at least have time to take a shower without anyone standing at the door sobbing because you dared walk away from them for 5 minutes. I shared that I did realize all the women I admire and secretly want to be like have school-age kids. They aren't leaving one year olds to go off on speaking gigs over the weekend. So I get that when they were in my shoes they weren't publishing books either. They were changing diapers and cutting the crusts off sandwiches too. And I want to cherish these years. I want to feel more grateful for the days I have with these little people, but to be honest I'm exhausted! There are only so many times in a day I can transform Bumble Bee from a robot into a race car before I want to poke my eye out. I have almost no bandwidth left for crafting sentences or thinking big thoughts.
It's funny how God speaks sometimes, isn't it? After being prayed for by a beautiful and grace-filled woman on Tuesday night, I was awakened an hour earlier this morning by a screaming toddler. I have no idea what was wrong but after finally soothing him back to sleep I was up and decided to do some reading. I picked up a book I've been slowly making my way through: Hope Unfolding--Grace-Filled Truth for the Momma's Heart by Becky Thompson. She is an absolutely beautiful writer and everything I have ever read by her brings me so much encouragement. This morning I read a chapter entitled God's Plans are Perfect and this is what she says: "No matter how overlooked or forgotten you are, what you are doing in this season of your life has significance. Whether you are home with little ones, working a job or three jobs, whether you are on your way somewhere or coming from somewhere...this time is not simply a waiting period until you get to whatever comes next. The place where you find yourself in this season is a significant part of your story...You are not forgotten. You have not missed God's plan for your life. And He cares about the desires of your heart. He places incredible dreams within us, and He is more than able to bring them to pass. We just have to be willing to trust His heart even when we don't understand this part of His plan. And sometimes it takes years to see how it all unfolds."
Friends, no matter where you are in life, what you feel like you are still "waiting for," or how your days are currently being spent, it's not an accident. We can use the gifts, desires, and passions God has given us right here and now. It just may look a little different than we initially imagined in this season. He is faithful. Where you are right now isn't an accident. He loves us and holds us in His hand as we faithfully take one step at a time, following Him into the next day, asking "God, how can I be faithful today in this place you've called me?" He knows your heart's desire and He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it.
