Five on Friday
Well I guess we are on an every other week routine for these posts right now? As much as I wish I could keep up with all the things I want to do in a given week, sometimes life doesn’t allow that. And it’s okay. Nothing needs to be perfect, especially not something that’s a hobby. (And the perfectionist in me hates even admitting that!) But we’ve made it to another Friday and the temperature has dropped a bit here which has all of us rejoicing with the angels above—hallelujah fall might be on its way! And now for this week’s 5 things.
**ONE**
I almost didn’t publish this today. Given everything that is going on in our world today, especially in the Middle East, and the trauma and horror the world is witnessing right now, my random musings about cookie recipes, book banning, and whatever else I write about feel laughably irrelevant. Like all of you, I have been devastated watching the news, (well, reading the news) and feel at a loss for words and actions to help. And at the same time, our life is still spinning. I still have football games to attend, karate practice to make it to, homework to check, and laundry to do (Lord the laundry. Having two kids in sports, school uniforms, and a husband who works out sometimes twice a day plus wears regular clothes in between those workouts is about doing me in—I’m pretty much buried!)
When the world feels the hardest, I continue to go back to the wise words of Sarah Bessey, when we can’t fix what’s happening on a global scale, how can we create spaces of peace and softness for those around us even more intentionally? This idea of the ministry of both our presence and small acts to create a home and circle of peace around us is all I can do. So I have been lighting my candle, praying for peace, and then doing what I can to serve those closest to me so they too can experience a moment of rest. This week this has looked like reaching out to my kid’s teachers to ask them how I can help. This led to one of them responding immediately saying she would love to have me come in and copy homework sheets and multiplication tests as she is struggling to get those done during the day. I can’t fix all the issues facing educators today. But I can show up and stand at a copier for an hour so she can focus on other things. I’m not fixing the middle east. But I can create a moment of rest for someone who is serving my child with her whole heart. It has looked like dropping dinner off for two different families struggling with illness this week. I can’t take away their sickness or change the outcome of their diagnosis but I can offer homemade soup along with my prayers. I can’t free the hostages in Israel. But I can look for spots around me where I can meet a need. Sometimes making sure my kid’s laundry is done, friends are fed, and homework packets are copied feel insignificant given the sheer quantity of true trauma that exists in the world but all we can each do is love and serve the place we’ve been put in for now and pray that those ripple effects will reach out from there. Love the ones we’ve been given, serve the neighbors we have, pray for peace and repeat.
**TWO**
This next one feels incredibly irrelevant in light of current events, but honestly I’m keeping it here for two reasons. One, I wrote this before the war in Israel started. Two, to me this particular issue seems even more asinine given the truly traumatic issues facing other places in the world. It’s as if we’re too comfortable here, so we’re manufacturing issues to yell at one another about. So I’m keeping this here, because I believe this is one of the biggest wastes of our time and energy as a society when there are much bigger issues to address.
There are VERY few political issues I will ever be public about in terms of my opinions. My experience has shown me that more often than not being vocal about our political leanings only serves to create barriers, assumptions, and divides in relationship that probably don’t need to be there. I’ll talk one on one with folks who I know well and already have an established relationship, but it’s very very rare that I’ll take a strong stance publicly on here or social media. If I do, it’s something I’ve thought about for a LONG time and is a metaphorical hill I’m pretty willing to die on. One of those things that has come up quite a bit in the media lately is the idea of “challenging” books that appear in public school classrooms and libraries.
It’s probably not surprising to anyone here given how passionate I am about reading that this is one of those issues I have a pretty strong opinion about. The way the media has hyped this issue has led people to be truly terrified that our kids are being handed pornography by their teachers on a regular basis, and this is absolutely mind blowing to me. Of course explicit sexual material does not belong in an elementary school classroom. But that’s not what’s being challenged here in our state. The lists of beautiful books that celebrate different cultures, honor diversity, portray an accurate account of the history of people of color here in our country, and promote people of various ethnic backgrounds that are being called into question breaks my heart.
Recently on her podcast 10 Things To Tell You, Laura Tremaine had a conversation with a former teacher and current children’s librarian in Arkansas all about what a children’s librarian wished parents knew about the book banning happening. It was a wonderful conversation, full of grace, nuance, kindness and information I truly wish more folks understood before believing everything fed to them by media on this issue. I hope everyone takes the time to listen to this conversation, especially if you or someone you love is tempted to want to “ban” books from our libraries.
In the same way that I don’t want someone else or the federal government telling me what types of medical treatments I am required to give my child, I also don’t want them telling me what my kids are allowed to read or not read. If we say we want autonomy for our own families to make choices about our healthcare, our vaccination records, our diets, the schools we send our kids to etc, we have to offer those same freedoms to folks who think differently than us. Families of other religions and cultures and yes, kids who come from homes where they are being raised by LGBTQ parents deserve to see themselves in the pages of books in their classrooms. I get to choose how I have conversations with my own kids about what our family believes surrounding these issues, but I don’t get to say we are entitled to live in a world where my kids are never going to have access to information or material that might somehow rub against what we believe or how we live our lives. It’s my job to help them process what they’ve seen or read that might expose them to something new or a different way of life, it is not my job to wrap them in bubble wrap and expect that in the digital world we live in we can forever prevent our kids from encountering things we don’t agree with or even things that '“offend” us.
So much research has been done on how much books build empathy. They’ve literally done studies on people who self identify as readers and those who don’t and the empathy that is able to be expressed by each group when presented with a variety of situations is shockingly different. Part of building empathy is being exposed to people who live and believe differently. Rather than frantically trying to control everything my kids are going to see, read, watch, listen to and be exposed to by a classmate, I’d rather expend the energy creating a safe space for them to bring these new ideas and establish the trust needed to guide them as they think through these new things. We can’t control the world they live in. Oh sure we think we can when they’re little and we fully dictate what they watch, read, listen to and who they spend time with. Having a kid hit middle school will throw that all out the window. Yes, even at youth group they’re going to hear things you maybe wish they wouldn’t. It’s what happens when we live in this world. In this world of non stop access to information and material, I promise, picture books in elementary schools aren’t the problem. If we are going to trust our teachers to educate our kids 7 hours a day we have to trust they love our kids enough to provide them with age-appropriate materials. It may not be a book I would have chosen for my child but it will be something we can learn together from. I can’t live in a world where all of a sudden we don’t trust our teachers, that’s a slope I’m not willing to slide down when they spend more hours a day with my kids than I get to. Banning books throughout history hasn’t ever been done by the “good guys” — and I’m sure not interested in throwing in my name with Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia (who banned Sherlock Holmes for fear of “occultism” among many many other titles), and the folks in the antebellum south who banned pretty much everything by an author of African American descent to continue to perpetuate the benefits of slavery. If we pride ourselves on our rights to own weapons, speak freely, and protest peacefully, we also have to recognize that families have the right to determine what their kids can read, whether it is a book I would chose for my child or not.
**THREE**
Phew, okay I’m off my soapbox. I guess since it’s my blog it’s all my soapbox? :). Let’s take a hard right turn shall we? Does anyone need an incredible fall cookie recipe? I did. And I found one that is so good my husband said “oh you can’t take those to your bible class tomorrow” and my 8 year old said “those are going to need to go in my lunchbox every day this week mommy.” They are from Kelly Gordon who is one of the co-hosts of the Sorta Awesome podcast, and her recipes haven’t ever disappointed me. These salted caramel oatmeal cookies are the perfect fall treat—chewy, caramel-filled and dusted with sea salt. Don’t skip these, and because they’re made with oatmeal, I feel like it’s totally acceptable to have one with your morning coffee and call it a breakfast treat. (also, do NOT skip lining the pan with parchment paper. I am only speaking from personal experience.)
**FOUR**
I’ve mentioned here before that I watch very little TV and very few movies these days, I usually go to bed too early to enjoy much in the way of media after the kids go to bed so I just don’t ever start something. Recently though I had a strong desire to watch a movie. Not just any movie, one very particular, very long film. Back in February I read the book Gone With the Wind as part of my 50 states reading challenge I’m doing this year. Since then it has been in the back of my mind that I’d like to watch the movie, which I hadn’t ever seen. I knew it would take me multiple nights to get through given my aforementioned self-imposed early bedtime, so since it was $9.99 to purchase on Amazon I went with that option so I could have more than the 48 hours to watch. It took me about 4 nights to get through, but I loved it, and was in awe when I thought about how long ago this was made. I know, my “movie recommendation” is from literally a hundred years ago, that’s how current I am with my pop culture offerings for you, but it was totally worth the time. (I did see the new Paw Patrol movie this weekend, but I’m pretty sure no one is interested in my reviews of that one….Asher gave it two thumbs up however so you can do with that information what you will.) I still have to be in the camp of “the book was better” with Gone with the Wind, but it was a remarkably well done film and the costuming was my favorite part. To wear that many layers in the south with no air conditioning makes me want to cry just thinking about it and I will be forever grateful that we’ve done away with the corsets.
**FIVE**
I mentioned on Instagram back in May that I started learning how to knit this past spring as part of my doctor’s orders to basically chill out more. I’m not quite sure why I thought knitting would be a great way to do that. I’m not crafty at all, I start sweating if anyone asks me to sew anything, I save my kid’s stuffed animal injuries for my mom to fix when she comes to visit, and most of the items in a Joane’s Fabrics make me want to run screaming. So of course, I decided to knit. Logically. The people who love it make it seem so fun and relaxing and we are entering the fall/winter months where I basically make it my goal in life to be home in my pjs by 6:30 PM. I live for hibernation season. Knitting felt like the ultimate addition to a life of coziness.
I had known how about 15 years ago, way back before kids I learned how to both knit and crochet (by “learn” I mean I made a scarf using each method and that was the extent of my yarn-craft ventures). I thought doing something tactile with my hands would be healthier than scrolling social media every night if I was watching a show with Chuck or listening to an audiobook, so I started looking for options of what I could make. I thought about making more scarves, but honestly it’s just too hot here in Florida to wear one 10.5 months of the year, and I don’t love stuff around my neck like that, so that didn’t feel like a great option. I ended up finding a YouTube video tutorial for beginning knitters that taught us how to make a blanket. I watched the beginning to see if the instructor really was gearing this toward the very beginner and I thought she did a great job, so I decided to try it. I went and bought what she told us to, and got started. I maybe didn’t pay as close attention to the part where she said this blanket would end up 5 feet by 6 feet. I just bought a ton of yarn (that should have been my first clue that this was an involved project—I just thought we bought extra in case we messed up…) and got started. Ya’ll this is going to take me forever. BUT, the craziest thing happened. I worked on it here and there very sporadically over the summer (knitting doesn’t feel very summery to me) but in the past month I’ve become obsessed. I’m now taking it with me to church and knitting through the sermons (which actually has helped me focus so much better), I’m bringing it to small group and knitting while we chat, I’m sneaking in a row here and there while I wait for my kids to be done with something, it is bringing me so much joy in this season. I love having something to do with my hands that keeps me off my phone. I like that I can watch a show, a football game, or listen to an audio book while I work on it. I can chat and be present with those around me while still doing something tactile. It’s still going to take forever, but I am here to say this is one of my favorite things I’ve done for myself lately and if you need something fun to try this fall let me know! I’d be happy to help get you started!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend my friends, that you are able to sow peace wherever you go and that you find moments of joy and beauty in this world that feels really overwhelming right now. Blessings friends.
