Thoughts on our New Season of Life
Hi friends! Welcome to my new space to tell stories, share what I'm learning, update far away friends and family on how we're doing and of course chat about my favorite things--food, parenting, books and faith! Some of the things I post might be dusted off from the archives of when I wrote much more frequently years ago (before children woke me up multiple times a night) and some will be new reflections on this phase of life I find myself in--a phase of life where I spend more time drinking coffee and playing trains than I ever realized was possible. My hope is to post something weekly. Lets be honest, I love to write but I also love so many other things like reading, watching a TV show with my husband in the evening and keeping in touch with friends, and I've discovered I usually get to do one of those things a day before I have to go to bed in the evening, so the notion of writing more than one post a week is a dream for a different season of life!
So many of you have asked how things are really going--behind the Instagram posts--how are we really doing and what has this move been like for us, that it only seemed fitting in this first official post to start there--with our transition to our new lives. I'm still learning a lot, so I'll have more to write on change, starting over, and how God has been so so faithful to us during this transition. But for today here's the general update!
Moving is tough and stressful no matter what the circumstance. It just is. Anytime you have an established life somewhere, to walk away from that and start over is hard! We adored our church family in Los Angeles and were incredibly well connected there, but this past winter and spring we found ourselves asking each other more often "can we really stay here long term?" The cost of living was a huge issue for us, realizing we were never going to be able to have a home with any outdoor space for our boys to run and play in, but to be honest the schedule and pace of life we were trying to maintain with both of us working at the church was starting to impact our family in some unhealthy ways as well. We knew it, but we didn't have a clue what to do about it. God worked through some strange circumstances to open a door we didn't really even ask to have opened, and before we knew it Charles had a job offer for a job he never even applied for landing in his lap. When something like that happens, you pay attention! Our decision making was fast, we left LA less than a month after officially deciding we were going, which in hindsight was probably a little chaotic. The boys and I spent a month in Minnesota with my folks while Charles drove cross country and began work here and by August 1st all four of us were in Jacksonville settling in.
In some ways, thanks to technology, I'm still incredibly connected with people from home, but for my little one, I know loneliness has been an overarching theme of this summer. We miss our buddies a lot. Since Charles had lived here previously, we had some connections which were a big help in our first couple weeks here, but I've discovered moving involves a LOT of putting yourself out there. I'm fairly extroverted by nature, which is a good thing, because the main way I've been able to make friends here has involved being brave enough to strike up conversations with random moms at the library, parks, preschool drop off, and yes even in Chick Fil A. I went into the preschool office and essentially made them create a class roster so I'd have other mom's phone numbers--something they said they've never done before. And I've joined a local MOPS group which I can already tell is going to be a lifeline. We are so so thankful for those individuals and families who have gone out of their way to make us feel welcome and included! But I'll be honest, it's been exhausting, starting from scratch in all areas of life! What I've come to realize is that when someone is established in a community, like we were in LA, you only have so much space in your life for friendships. We're all busy, so it's generally only possible to keep up with a certain, finite number of other people or families. If someone's friendship tank is full, people may be incredibly nice, but maybe not interested in or available to welcome anyone new into their lives. And that's okay--I think that is a part of life. I know this described us in California! I realize now how guilty I was of not being more aware of those individuals or families who were perhaps new to the church and looking for friendship or connection. I was friendly, but wasn't looking for more friends so to speak. We've met some wonderful folks and families here, we've joined a small group at our church that we are super excited about, and we are slowly building community that we truly love already, but it's definitely been a process! In the busy culture we live in, to all of a sudden have nowhere to go, nothing to really do, nothing on the calendar has been a drastic (and probably much needed!) change of pace for us. But with that has come some loneliness and for me a bunch of questions such as "if I'm not super busy and connected and leading things then who am I?" Like I said, probably really good questions to be forced to wrestle with!
I think the number one change for us has been getting used to a new pace of life. It was not uncommon for us to have weeks where one of us would be at the church up to 4-5 nights a week for various meetings, youth groups or events. Charles comes home every night now at 6 pm and is home for dinner, playtime, baths and bedtime. Every night. It's kind of unreal! And we get weekends together now--to do work around the house, go to the beach, or attend church together. We're grateful--so so grateful for this new pace of life. We loved the work we were doing in ministry, we just weren't sure how to balance that well with our family life. We are taking our time figuring out where to plug in and serve here, I'm not sure what that will look like for us as we move forward. For now we are taking lots of walks, making runs to get milkshakes on the way home from the beach in the evenings, playing at playgrounds, and finding great joy in simply mowing the lawn and building train tracks in our playroom. We are savoring this new pace and phase of life as I know once the boys are in school and activities we'll be fighting against the culture of busyness again. I don't actually love change or transition, but this one was so full of God's hand in so many obvious ways that even on the hard days where I just miss my friends I am so peaceful about being here, about this new season we're in, and I look forward to sharing more of our journey with you all!
